Top 5 Craziest Close Stories!

Anyone who has spent more than a few months in sales has his or her own interesting, weird, and crazy stories. From quirky customers, to demanding sales managers, to miraculous closes; one thing is for sure, sales is never boring. But just how far are some sales reps willing go to close a deal, and how crazy can things get in the world of sales? To find out, we asked thousands of sales reps to share their craziest stories about closing a sale. Results varied from hilarious to inappropriate to downright unbelievable. We managed to whittle the answers down to five that we thought were the absolute best.

Congratulations to George Shaffer, Bob Espy, Lyle Sfnent Caputo, Michael Sarrazin, and Paul Blakeman for these top stories!

5) "A Japanese customer was emailing all of the local BMW dealerships in town looking for the very best quote she could get. She refused to have a conversation and insisted on email communication only. I finally asked her exactly what was she expecting. She replied, "I want a quote I can't get anywhere else" - I provide a quote in the form of a haiku, explaining that she'll never get a quote like that anywhere else. We began emailing back and forth in haiku and I closed the sale." -Paul Blakeman

4) "I was working this very difficult-to-please customer on a deal for over a week. We discussed several things via email and the final request before we closed the deal was that I call her during her break at work to just review our arrangement. Unfortunately, what she didn't know was that I was very ill at the time with pneumonia at a local hospital. That same day the doctors decided it was best to transport me to a specialty hospital because I have cystic fibrosis and they weren't equipped to deal with my condition. The ambulance showed up 20 minutes before the conference call time. So I did what any good sales guy would do... I called from the ambulance! At first she wasn't cooperating the way I had hoped, so I decided to drop some hints about how important earning her business was to me. She seemed to think it was a 'line' so I explained to her that I was making the call from the back of an ambulance... she bought! A few days later she came by and wanted to thank me. She found me in my office, working away with an IV in my arm and the bag thumb-tacked to the wall. That's dedication..." -Michael Sarrazin

3) "I had a customer that did not speak a lick of English. I tried communicating by pointing and writing stuff down. Nothing was working and I needed one more sale to hit my sales goal for the month. Luckily I had the Google Translate app on my phone. I was able to pitch in the customer's native language through my smart phone. Not only did I close the heck out of this sale, but this guy brought back a ton of referrals. So using the Google Translate app to close a sale might have been one of the craziest or smartest closes I ever did." -Lyle Sfnent Caputo

2) "I'd been working on this prospect for a few months. One day I drove by to drop off a proposal. The 78-year old prospect asked if she could take me to lunch. I told her that I wished I could, however somehow I had split my pants and I needed to go home and change. The next thing I know I'm sitting on her couch with a beach towel wrapped around me, watching Oprah while her (I kid you not) one-eyed Taco Bell dog kept barking at me while this sweet lady stitched the butt of my pants. A few days later she rolled her 4.5 million to me." -Bob Espy

And our best close story...

1) "I had a client who insisted on paying his down payment in hard currency. It was the last day of the month, October 31st, and the entire sales team was in costume for Halloween. I agreed to come to his office to get the hard currency. $8,000 in unrolled half-dollars and dollar coins. So, dressed as Bane from Batman, I drove $8,000 dollars worth of unrolled coins to our bank and hand-counted them with the head teller. Then I drove the car to his office and delivered it to him, all in costume. Made goal on the close with 50% warranty penetration. Lost the costume contest though." -George Shaffer

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